Tag: humour
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A VERY BRITISH DAY OUT
‘Take the next left onto B709,’ says the satnav. ‘Where is she taking us?’ says the passenger. ‘I’m just following the directions, dear,’ says the driver. ‘Are we there yet?’ From the backseat. ’10 minutes away,’ says the passenger, ‘I can see the castle from here.’ ‘You said that 5 minutes ago!’ ‘It’s these bloody…
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THE HANGING ROOM
Somewhere in the rural midwestern USA, after the war has ended. ‘Why bomb a barn way out here? They’ve blown the roof right off. ‘Never had a roof. Was meant to be like this.’ ‘Why have a barn with no roof. What was it for?’ ‘Hangings.’ ‘Really?’ ‘Yeah. Could get about ten on each bar.…
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AGALMATOPHILIA
The old-timer doddered into the shop, heading straight for the wedding dress on the mannequin in the window. He stared at it, his eyes dewy. His hand reached out to touch the material. Marge went over to him. ‘Can I help you?’ ‘Thank you, dear. Just reminded me of something.’ ‘Your wedding day?’ she smiled…
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ESCAPE HATCH
He jumped from the fourth floor. This was exactly why he had built the escape hatch in wall of the office for. He crossed his arms across his chest and slid out feet first, speeding downwards, bracing for the impact against the cushioned platform on the ground. He bolted across the street, sprinting for safety.…
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THE GARDEN ROOM
An extension proved too expensive, but Agnes insisted she needed more space. ‘How can I be expected to be creative with you in the same room?’ ‘I don’t get in your way,’ Archie replied. ‘You slurp. You chew. You exhale!’ Suitably chastised, Archie investigated a garden room. He would lose his flowerbeds, but he would…
Iain Kelly 