'You got any reels?' 'Nope.' 'Any lures?' 'Nope.' 'Lines?' 'None a'them either.' 'Okay, bait?' 'Live or dead?' 'Live.' 'Nope.' 'Dead?' 'Not that either.' 'Okay, what about boat equipment?' 'What like?' 'A boat hook?' 'Nope.' 'Cleat hooks?' 'Nope.' 'Rope?' ''Fraid not.' 'Do you have anything for a fishing trip?' 'I got fresh fish.' 'How does fresh … Continue reading DOWN ISLAND TRADERS


I stood in front of the bench. The sentencing judge peered down at me with a look of disgust. 'Do you have anything to say in mitigation before sentencing?' he asked. My solicitor had advised me against saying anything: 'Just accept the punishment. You were found guilty. The judge will frown upon excuses.' But I … Continue reading CLOUDED JUDGEMENT


'Authentic Beach Barbecue' the leaflet had assured them. Archie had his doubts. The nearest beach was at least thirty miles away for a start. Just another anomaly in the zoo that combined as an amusement park. Two pasty-looking teenagers wheeled out trays covered in tinfoil and started unwrapping the precooked food. Agnes perched herself on … Continue reading A VERY BRITISH DAY OUT


Lights flashed, music blared. 'Julie is thirty-five, works in a shop and has a second job as a waitress. She doesn't have the time to meet Mr. Right. Will she find him tonight? Let's start The Tunnel of Love!' The audience bayed along. Lights dimmed, tension music. Julie took two tentative steps along the curved tunnel. Loud claxon, red lights. The … Continue reading THAT’S ENTERTAINMENT!