Tag: comedy
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A VERY BRITISH DAY OUT
‘Authentic Beach Barbecue’ the leaflet had assured them. Archie had his doubts. The nearest beach was at least thirty miles away for a start. Just another anomaly in the zoo that combined as an amusement park. Two pasty-looking teenagers wheeled out trays covered in tinfoil and started unwrapping the precooked food. Agnes perched herself on…
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TUNNEL VISION
Focus. Clear your mind. Think of nothing else but the next hundred metres. Block everything out beyond the borders of your lane. Tunnel vision – the start line to the finish line and nothing else. Remember your training: concentration; balance; commitment. ‘On your marks.’ You step forward, steady yourself, one last look into the crowd…
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THE ELEPHANT’S ARSE
‘This, ladies and gentlemen, is the new exhibit I am most proud of.’ The group of dignitaries, sponsors and critics gathered round, those at the back craning their necks to get a clearer view. Hans Schiedt was extremely proud of the natural life museum he had been brought in to reinvigorate. The old building had…
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ROCKFALL
They had stood there for centuries. As long as anyone could remember the three boulders had sat on the ledge overlooking the small hamlet. That night rain had lashed the hillside, thunder had rumbled and lightning had lit the dark sky. No one had heard anything apart from the howling wind. It was the farmers,…
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BUCKET LIST
Why did he need to have a bucket list? Agnes was insistent this was something he needed to tick off it, whether he had one or not. Happy 60th, darling! So here Archie was, standing in a basket, strapped to a vast nylon balloon. Agnes waved and snapped another picture. The hot air balloon was…
Iain Kelly 