Tag: humour
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STATIONARY STATIONERY
New Year. New me.Resolutions. Not new ones. The same ones as last year, but this time I’m going to stick to them. Get up, get moving, shift the pounds, feel the burn. No more lounging around the house in pyjamas. Dress for success. Productivity is the key. New stationery organised. Ready for work. Not sure…
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CHRISTMAS PARTY
Impetuous Iain faced ignominy when, after several false starts, he rashly pinned his lips on Jolly Jennifer’s mouth in the middle of the dance floor. The footfall of the crowd faded as onlookers backed away and waited for the bomb to explode, which it duly did. In retaliation, Jennifer delivered several slaps to Iain’s head,…
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SEXUAL PREFERENCE
‘Do you have a preference?’ ‘About what?’ ‘Sex.’ ‘Huh?’ Arthur turned from the game on the television and looked at her. ‘That got your attention. Christmas dinner, turkey or duck?’ Arthur turned back to the game. ‘Whatever.’ ‘Fine.’ It would be nice if he took an interest, but she didn’t need him to. Her weekly…
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MR. VORACIOUS
He decided: from now on, whatever it was, he was going to do it voraciously. That’s what they said about all these successful people: Musk and Jobs and Bezos, they were obsessives and workaholics. Work hard, play hard. That was how to get ahead. So he would work longer hours and stop taking breaks and…
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WITH ALL DUE RESPECT
‘I beg your pardon?’ I couldn’t believe what I’d just heard. Who did this impertinent little person think they were? ‘I was just wondering if it wasn’t best to just admit we got it wrong?’ ‘Who are you?’ ‘Erm, I’m Nigel Billingsworth.’ I waited for him to say more. ‘Public Relations Assistant.’ Another pause. ‘Culture…
Iain Kelly 