Tag: humor
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A VERY BRITISH DAY OUT
‘Authentic Beach Barbecue’ the leaflet had assured them. Archie had his doubts. The nearest beach was at least thirty miles away for a start. Just another anomaly in the zoo that combined as an amusement park. Two pasty-looking teenagers wheeled out trays covered in tinfoil and started unwrapping the precooked food. Agnes perched herself on…
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PLOTTING
The tourists and students poured into The Great Hall, the entrance to the Met. This would be the easy bit. If she picked the right time, when the crowds were at their busiest, it would be easy to slip away unnoticed. If he left the money under the ciborium in the Medieval Europe gallery, if…
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THE DAILY POST: AWKWARD
Should he tell her? How to tell her? It might more harm than help. On the other hand, if he leaves it unsaid and someone else mentions it… What a fix. There can be no winner in this situation. He can’t let it go on like this. Honesty is the best policy. ‘Darling, I’m not…
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TUNNEL VISION
Focus. Clear your mind. Think of nothing else but the next hundred metres. Block everything out beyond the borders of your lane. Tunnel vision – the start line to the finish line and nothing else. Remember your training: concentration; balance; commitment. ‘On your marks.’ You step forward, steady yourself, one last look into the crowd…
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THE ELEPHANT’S ARSE
‘This, ladies and gentlemen, is the new exhibit I am most proud of.’ The group of dignitaries, sponsors and critics gathered round, those at the back craning their necks to get a clearer view. Hans Schiedt was extremely proud of the natural life museum he had been brought in to reinvigorate. The old building had…
Iain Kelly 