Tag: humor
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THE POSTMAN ALWAYS RINGS TWICE
He was sweating. His back ached. His arms couldn’t carry the heavy parcel much further along the pedestrianised street. 4300, 4301, 4302… Almost there. He didn’t think about the walk back to the start of the street that awaited. His car was parked outside house No.1. 4376. He had made it. He dropped the parcel…
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EVERYTHING BUT THE KITCHEN SINK
‘How about this… Americans harnessed electricity,…’ ‘Yes, very good, Mr. President.’ ‘…we split the atom…’ ‘Well, sir, technically that was a New Zealander.’ ‘…we gave the world the telephone…’ ‘That was a Scotsman, Sir’ ‘…and the internet…’ ‘Tim Berners-Lee was an Englishman working in Switzerland.’ ‘…we settled the Wild West…’ ‘Maybe don’t highlight our record…
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ATTACK OF THE KILLER CHICKENS
‘Do you know the closest living relative of the dinosaur is?’ Margarita sighed as little Nino stumbled through his favourite fact, delivered with glee every morning when they collected the eggs. ‘No, what is it?’ she played along. ‘The chicken!’ The boy laughed and started chasing after the group of hens in the yard, roaring…
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GETTING BACK TO NORMAL
Archie stretched up and swung the hammer, managing to nudge the satellite dish. ‘How about now?’ he shouted through the window. Agnes checked the television. ‘Still nothing.’ Archie sighed. He was not going to miss the first live football match in four months because the satellite signal was on the blink. He made another lunge…
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THE BALLOON
Here he comes, full of bluster, just like his president. He wasn’t ruining the holiday exactly, but every time that bellowing voice approached the pool area, the patrons visibly slumped. ‘Mornin’ y’all!’ He hefted his great bulk onto a lounger. ‘S’cuse me, boy! A little refreshment over here!’ The pool boy reluctantly answered the beckoning…
Iain Kelly 